The holidays are a challenging time for most of us.

The pressure to stay in the “holiday spirit”, interact with family members that trigger us, buy a ton of thoughtful presents for family and friends, and keep up traditions can deplete us of our energy and stir up anxiety and stress.

Giving ourselves a hard time is one of the ways we might be adding to our holiday anxiety or stress.

During the holidays, our inner critic might be criticizing how we’re managing our time or how well we’re handling our budget for gift-giving. That harsh inner voice might be showing us how we’re not acting in line with your values during family gathering when we’re set off by certain people’s behaviors. We might be judging ourselves for drinking or eating more than we planned. We might be frustrated with our own reactions and difficulty shifting out of negative feelings.

Self-critical talk can ruin our mood and make us feel more anxious.

What can we do?

To start, you can remind yourself that you are worthy of prioritizing your own needs this holiday season. Your inner peace, joy, and happiness matter. Your well-being, rest, and sense of ease matter, too.

Holiday anxiety can come from our big efforts to please friends and family at the huge cost to our own peace and well-being.

It’s okay to say no to an event you don’t want to go to or choose to go for a limited time. It’s fine to want privacy when your aunt asks you personal questions that make you feel super uncomfortable. It’s okay to ask for a new approach to gift-giving — like a white elephant exchange — when your finances are stretched.

The more you practice speaking up for your needs, making requests, and setting empowered boundaries to courageously protect your peace during the holidays, the less anxiety and more freedom you’ll experience over the years to come.